HAPPINESS IS...

Hi guys! 

I'm sooooo glad I'm STILL keeping this blog alive by posting this second come-back post. I should be proud of myself HAHA 

Before I start, I'm telling you this post is gonna be quite lengthy and if you are not 'ready', don't read it. I don't want to waste your precious time, but, I hope you'd stay on.

And so, you've been forewarned.

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So...The title of this blog post, hmm, why did I chose the title, you may ask. The reason why I chose the title was because of this #FMSPHOTOADAY challenge on Instagram. 

The "theme" for 1st of July was "Happiness is...", so well, I thought this topic was worth me blogging..

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Before I start, what makes YOU happy? 

I'm sure everybody has his/her own source of happiness or the cause for their happiness, but not many of us can remember to cherish and appreciate that very moment when things are just too 'overwhelming'. 

This was also one of the reason why I wanted to blog on this topic. I tend to always forget about appreciating/cherishing what makes me happy and end up taking everything for granted. 

I don't want to wait till the day life decides to give me a slap on my face for me to regret about not appreciating/cherishing. 

I just need a little self-reflection... No, a lot. Haha

Okay, to the crux of this blogpost. 

What/who makes me happy? 

Four things.

1) Family

2) BFFs

3) Friends 

4) Me (shocked? I am.)

1) FAMILY

I... Am really really R E A L L Y happy, jubilant, lucky to be born into my family. I have daddy, mummy, brother and sister. (duh) The four of them...(duhx2) 

I might have yelled, cursed and swore or at some point of my life, "hated" them. I might have preferred hanging out with my friends rather than spending some quality time with my family, but nevertheless, deep down, they are the number ones in my heart. And my BIGGER family (especially Ong family).

Before I go on, Idris Lim, if you're reading this, you're part of it okay. Don't be sad :( HAHA Wait okay?

*Snaps fingers* Back to where I left... 

Parents: 

*disclaimer: I'm not trying to be the oh-so-filial kid in this post. I'm being honest, and I mean it.*

I owe my life to my parents. 

They've spent so much on me because I'm born different/special. It'll  probably take me a zillion years to repay them. (Just exaggerating a little here, but you got the point ya) 

On random days, I'd imagine myself without them and I'd pray to god (I'm a Buddhist by the way) that if he had to take them away, pleasepleaseplease take a few years off my lifespan and give it to my parents. I want them to stay a little longer. (look who's crying now lol)

I'm not trying to promote some filial piety values here, but I'm serious, and you know it's true that you owe everything to them. NO MATTER WHAT.

My parents? They're really cute auntie and uncle. hehehe 

They've never given up on me despite the fact that I've disappointed them for the thousandth time, what more can I ask for? 

I have a home for me to stay, clothes for me to wear, food to survive on and a wonderful family. What else more?

I can be greedy at times, yeah, but at the end of the day, I know that I'm lucky enough to have all these. 

My parents have done so much for me, and I just.... Can't imagine my life without my daddy OR mummy LAH SIAL. 

If they were to leave me, I'd probably be like this:

or 

everyday.

Siblings: 

They are the reason why I had a wonderful and memorable childhood. Up till now, I can still remember the three of us staying up till dawn/morning just to build "ships" with containers for our pokemons and play some battleship stuffs haha. And the newspaper catching... Whereby nobody is allowed to land their foot on anything except for newspapers we've placed around the house, climbing washing machines, cupboards and kitchen sinks.. HAHA well well... My AWESOME childhood. Unlike some other teens, they may grow distant and awkward with their siblings as years go by, but the three of us didn't. At least to me. We will occasionally start talking about our crush/etc. I don't know, I just love them, no matter how many fights we've had.

Sum it up, I love them, always will. Even if I have a hundred reasons to hate them, I'd always have this ONE reason to love them - THEY ARE MY ONE AND ONLY FAMILY. They'll always be there for me, no matter what. 

 And my big family!!! Especially the ONG family. Probably why my weekends/vacations are never boring. 

Boyfriend: 

Idris lim, this bastard. Hahaha I'm in love with this qtpie. I don't know why, things he do unexpectedly just makes me melt and think that he's cute. 

He can be a REAL bastard at times, he can be a sweetie too. It all depends HAHA

This is probably the longest relationship I've had. (because I didn't have any except for when I was young and ignorant, but that lasted for nine months ok LOL) Thirteen months... Ups and downs, mostly downs... Though I've been wanting to give up on us for quite some time now, something just made me hold on a little longer, maybe it's the feelings. 

But really, I've thought of killing him sometimes... No guys had ever did those to me before man... hmmph. 

We've talked about it though, and I hope things will start to become better. Right bae? Remember our pact. Do our jobs. 

I love you very much too :* 

(I won't emphasise on this topic today haha)

2) BFFs

The three girls; Li Min, Sam and Xin Mei. (In alphabetical order)

They're my 'only' friends, sometimes. I don't know.. I've became pretty much "anti-social", and on days I just want to be alone, they're my 'only' friends and loved ones other than the people in (1).

Four years plus' of friendship/'sisterhood'... HAHAHA I can't imagine my life without them too. We don't need to text each other everyday, but when we do meet up, it's like we have endless of stories to tell each other. That's probably why we are BFFLs, I guess.

And everytime we meet up, we'd talk about the same old thing again and again. (Especially those years when we played for our secondary school's basketball team) ROFLMAO really, it's really the same things over and over and overrrrrrrrr again. Never gets bored. 

I love how we can be real comfortable with each other and insult each other without feeling offended.

Love you girls, I hope we won't argue okay. Girlfriends now, taitais in twenty years' time ya? Promise. 

3) Friends

The secondary friends I've made and treasure. Y'all know who are y'all okay. 

I'll name them here: (forgive me if I didn't include you in here)

- WGS Basketball Team

- KKLs

- 2E2'10

I've lost a handful of friends throughout my four years studying in secondary school. Some 'not-so-important' friends and important ones. I guess that's life, people come and go. One door closes and another one opens. Yep, lost a few really important people along the way, but I've learned a lot along the way and made better friends too. 

Something important I've learned: Forget the ones who left, focus on what you have on hand.

Poly life... has been really hectic and I've been not attending school once-thrice every week. I'm serious. Sigh, I gotta improve on that. I've been falling sick really easily nowadays too :( Stress or whatever reasons I'm allowing myself to make. Someone please slap me. 

I'm not really like those typical girls who'd hang out with each other after school and all.. You'd probably see me rushing home or to the school'd bus stop once my school ends. I don't really socialise that much, unless I have to. Not that I'm anti-social. I do make friends in school, but I choose who I want to hang out with, because I don't trust people easily. So if I ever look fierce, arrogant or anti-social to you in school, it's probably because I'm still in my comfort-zone ya. Don't worry, I don't bite....until you're my best friend. hehehe I do have this handful of friends though, this clique and y'all know who you are, I appreciate y'all. (2 girls, 4 guys) You're welcome. 

My perception of someone I didn't really liked at first had changed too, guess he wasn't as bad as I thought... haha

And shout out to my buddy too!

Rest assure, I'm a different kind of person when I hang out with different people. So if you're awkward, I will be even more awkward. If you're noisy, I'll be noisier. 

Sorry to those who thought I am arrogant okay, I'm not. (if I ever was)

4) Me (Yourself)

It's all about your mentality, it's your decision. You can't be genuinely happy if you don't allow yourself to or you decide not to. Nobody can make you truly happy if you don't allow them to. Likewise, nobody can make you upset of you dont allow them to. 

Only you have the rights to allow yourself to be happy/sad. Be it because of a simple thing or something more complex or big or showy, but think, won't life be a lot better if things were much more simpler? 

I am guilty too, I do always think a lot and make my thoughts really complex and end up being upset. Sometimes, I expect too much until the point where I don't find happiness in anything I do. I just don't feel happy, at all. It is only when I have some time to myself to start reflecting, asking: " Why am I so unhappy? How come I don't find joy in whatever I do?" 

The answer? Simple, because I expect too much. I only find joy when things are bigger. 

"Bigger is better." NO. Small, simple things can also make us happy. 

Life's probably too fast-paced that we've all forgotten small little meaningful things that can actually put a smile on our faces. Or matbe it's because we are all living in this century where 'everything must be of high-standard and near perfect quality' to give us a sense of satisfaction. 

WE NEED TO BE HAPPY PEOPLE! ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HAPPY. IF YOU DON'T, NOBODY CAN!

Now, even starting a conversation with my neighbours in the lift can brighten up my day. YES.

Such a lengthy post, but if you're read this sentence, thank you, you're so awesome and I'm sorry if I've wasted your time. 

Anyway, before I end off, I'd like to share what I've learned from the downfalls I've had these few months:

Don't waste time on what might have been, always search for something even better, or improve on what you have on hand.

And if you're facing something that's making you unhappy, do something about it. Make yourself feel better by doing something about it, nobody can do it for you. 

So what if you have all your loved ones, money, games, food and clothes? You can't be happy if you don't allow yourself to seek joy in these little things in life.

Only you have the right to control your emotions.

I'm learning to, so you should too. Let's all be happy people.

Love,

Szes