The previous one was about a bff that I considered 'left me' and I did not have the courage to publish that post last week, but I did publish it today because I thought: Since I've spent so much time typing out my thoughts, why should I keep it and save it as draft?
So ya, that post was published in the early afternoon.
Yesterday, my mood was greatly affected by a news I've received at 9.37am during training. My cousin called and told me a bad news. A f*cking bad one.
My grandpa had passed away in China.
The moment I've heard that, I was really flabbergasted. My immediate reaction was the usual "HUH?!!" and then I began crying.
It was supposed to be an advance x'mas bbq at a cousin's place yesterday, yet it backfired and turned into a day that we all grieve for our grandpa's death. And the cause of the death? We don't know.
Though I've only spent little time with him, but during the past few months, his attitude begun changing. Years before, he used to smoke and drink. He used to scold me and I used to be afraid of him..... But through out these past months, my love begun to grow for him, I loved him.
When we have a family gathering, he would always say : " Qia ji (means: bad-tempered girl),
you've grown fatter already hor? *squeezes my arms* You're prettier like this." HE'LL SAY THIS EVERY TIME HE SEES ME.
I teared in public a few times yesterday before reaching home after training. The moment I've reached home, I cried like a kid who've just got lost in IKEA or something. Then I slept. :/ I didn't bathe at all...
And when I woke up after the 6hours' nap, my eyes were swollen. OMFG. Even worst than the gold fishes'. I thought what had happened to my eyes, I nearly scream.
What's worst? I can't even see my grandpa for the last time. The funeral will be held in China, and his children already flew to China this morning. The funeral held in China will last for 5 days, then there'll be another funeral held here in Singapore. However, by then, grandpa would already be in ashes. The grandchildren can't see his last looks for one last time. If we were richer to hire a private jet..... I want to have a look at my ah gong! :(
I want to pray to you, I want to talk to you beside your body. I want to see you dig your nose again, I want to taste your curry/soup, I want to hear your lame jokes which I would always pretend to laugh at it, I want to hear your trademark vulgarity (KNN), I want to look at your yellow, rotten set of teeth whenever you laugh/smile.
I will remember that you hate sweet stuffs, I will remember the nickname you've gave me.
I will miss every part of you that I can remember, but can you please come and visit me in my dream? ♥
Death is so intimidating, I'm afraid of Death.
Whatever it is, I should stop crying. Like what my coach told me, it wouldn't help anyway...
I would always ask myself, : " When I die, will I know that I'm dead? Can I still feel? "
I really don't understand why human die. Can any scientist out there create a formula and create a potion for humans, so that we will live forever?
Life's short after all.
A life is so fragile that it could be destroyed anytime, anywhere.
We should treasure every moment given, everybody that came into our life.
Some quotes mentioned to me at Twitter:
"God gives you good days to learn how to be thankful and gives you bad days to learn how to be stronger."
"Sometimes, the pain makes us stronger."
I'll be alright, I'll be strong.
P/S Rest in peace ah gong, we all love you very much.
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