And yeah, you've been forewarned.
So, just came down to blog about my current thoughts and perhaps rant? I don't know, cause basically I don't really like to have really really "in depth" h2h talk with people for some reasons,
1) Being made to hear what that person has to comment on me or my life/situation.
1) Being made to hear what that person has to comment on me or my life/situation.
2) I don't want to be given a lesson on how to be happier or what.
3) I don't like to hear judgments. ( When I'm really, well, down?)
so yeah, I decided to came to blog.
I know I will eventually be telling the whole world everything...but at least, I won't be able to hear judgments while I type right,......? That's impossible, so yeah, I just want to pour somethings out and I head back to reality.
And yes, I am feeling very emotional now, namely because
1) I missed my chance to get the camera I have longed for. ( that I have been keeping that in my mind for a long period of time, contemplating if I should buy or not.)
2) My family members are really a heart breaker. ( Thinking of which, I can seriously tear now.)
3) I hate my life now.
4) Simply, fu*k this world.
No camera.
Yes, maybe some of the people would find it super ridiculous for me to feel so sad or emotional or angry just over one fucking idiot camera.
I felt so too, myself, but to think back, I have never really own a camera that I really like/love at all.
Those few 'ex' cameras I have owned were from my dad's uncle and the resolution? Suck like hell. Maybe when I was younger, I thought it was the greatest camera ever, but thinking back... nah, not at all..
Yes, I know, I must be asking for too much, but you know what? My freedom of using THAT camera's limited, or should I say, it doesn't practically belongs to me, even though I got it as a present for having good grades. I must always beg my father for it, so that I can take photos using it and then, at the end of the day, I have to return it to him. Yeah, like I can't take good care of my things.
-__-
And as many know, IT fair is happening and today is the last day, and I just found out that the camera that I want (Not really what I wanted, but it's almost the same) is on sale and the price is really really really reasonable, for me.
Yet my parents don't want to buy for me, yes, i know I'm being ridiculous, so I asked for them to lend me some cash, but I was rejected. I asked from other family members, one was willing to chip in some cash while the other, forever "no money". Whatever, it's really rare to have my brother to lend me some money, really. Most of the time, WE have to lend him. As he grow older, he is getting sensible, but when can the family rely on him?......... We don't know.
Anyway, thanks so much to Grace and Junkeong for chatting me up otp for more than 2 hours . <3
Me/Family matters.
Me:
Firstly, I guess I've been seen mostly, in school, in a way or another, as a cheerful or noisy or maybe optimistic girl. However, you must remember,
"Behind every beautiful smile, there's many untold miseries."
And yeah, I may be that confident, bimbotic girl most of you people know, and I guess I have something to say.....
( This is somehow a confession that I have never ever dared to make, but I am a little weird today......)
In fact, I am not really THAT confident.
I'm born this way, and since young, I have been made fun of. Yup, I do look weird, or to a certain extend- Ugly. But I have never been able to alter my fate or decide what's next for me. No one could.
To compare myself with other children (in the same state as me), I am really luckier. And I must thank my parents for it. REALLY.
However, there's always this thing that has brought many unpleasing situations to people. The society.
The society is getting damn judgmental, damn realistic and super monstrous. You must be thinking, "Ironic, you are one of the contributing human in the Society and you're talking about the Society."
Yes, I agree. I too, judge, have monstrous personality and I maybe, I am realistic. I ADMIT.
Nevertheless, SOME people just can't be any "nicer". Seriously, they simply judge way too much. TOO MUCH. I mean, you can judge, but must you be soooooo mean? You will gain nothing, but to satisfy yourself, your self-esteem. ....
( Many have heard bout this, so yeah, shouldn't elaborate too much. )
Plastic surgeries have soon became a "Need" rather than a "Want".
People need to look good just to have that first good impression and acceptance.
Cruel huh? :(
I just wished I could be a little more perfect, I don't have to be totally flawless, but I just want to be a little more. Really.
Parents: Don't feel like elaborating but, what's more disheartening than having unsupportive parents?
My grades can never be good enough for them. I am always this daughter of theirs who's temperamental, troublesome, rebellious and bad.
Them being a little too old fashioned, they think that showing a little love to the kids are just too ridiculous. Oh please, dad and mom, if you are willing to show (and I really mean show) us your love, nothing is difficult to be compromised.
Truthfully speaking, I think am those kind of kid who'll behave only when I feel loved/appreciated. For example, when I feel loved/appreciated, sometimes before doing something that my parents wouldn't want me to, I'll really really stop and reflect before doing anything. I'm freakin' serious.
Nonetheless, whatever it is, I'd still love them at the end of the day.
I hope someone will show this to my dad/mum, HAHAHAHA. :P
Siblings are great...... some times they just suck. But I love them damn lot!! <3
And for the "I hate my life" & "Simply fu*ck the world",:
These are just random thoughts I always have whenever I'm super pissed with the people in my life or having a really bad day.
Of course, today is a really bad day for me.
Of course, today is a really bad day for me.
It's like the #FML moments or situations, never ending procrastination and never ending pms. HAH
Emotional stuffs aside, here are some photo my girls and I took yesterday, during a study date @ Changi Airport. (Too lazy to edit):<
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| Vainpot! Caught ya! |
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| This is the damn bimbotic yet cute bitch. |
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| While studying..... camwhoring became the "break". |
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| The kind, rebellious witch. (ironic) |
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| The old bitch. T-T |
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| Damn funny right, she don't know where to look. :P |
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| Bus ride homeeeee~ |
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| The bitch of the bitches. HAH |
I just hope in life/reality, there'll really be a rainbow after every rain/storm.
Have a nice holiday ahead, and enjoy~!
Oh, and on the side note, I blog really less because I am too lazy/busy to blog, but I'm more active on Twitter though, cause it's more accessible via my phone. So yeah, bye for now! <3
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