#07 My Favourite

Yoyoyoyoyoyoyo!
This is the seventh post of this blog. Seven is my favourite number, so this post's gonna be "dedicated" to my favourite things in life. 


First, one favourite "thing" in my life is my family. After the wake and all, my mom became so weird.. She's not like herself, and it really kills me inside. I was so afraid that mom would become mentally unstable and then end up like a lunatic or what... but, after all these, I've became more sensible, now, I've tried to keep my voice down, try not to throw tantrums at mom and dad. When I'm sad or troubled (these few days), I didn't tell them or show any signs of frustrations/sadness in front of them or haul my tantrum at them just because I'm feeling very lousy. I guess the passing of my granddad really changed me. I started to consider people's feeling/perspective more, more of considering my parents' but I guess everything starts from a small little change and it'll grow. Thus maybe I'll treat my friends or other people in school like this, sooner or later? Hopefully.


Second thing, My CCA. I have gone through the toughest training of the year 2011 yesterday. I'm not sure if the training was physically tough or mentally tough. Or it's just merely because I didn't take my breakfast before that training, causing me to be such a f*cking weakling yesterday. I Ran, I Fought with the 'devil' in me, I Cried, but I guess I haven't Lose. We haven't lose. 
Some people have to understand, crying doesn't necessarily means : Oh, I'm sad, so I cried. 
In fact, I believe many people cry for many reasons, it can be due to some pains, anger, sadness, happiness, so on and so forth. So when I cry, it doesn't really have to mean that I'm sad. Yesterday, I cried, but I didn't cry because I'm feeling sad/angry. 

Crying actually helps to boost my determination. It actually helps me, by a lot. 

Sometimes, crying can be a physical way of letting out some shitty emotions just so I can feel better. 

There's so much behind every tear shed. 
So the aftermath of the training was a backache. Yeah, that caused me to feel so lazy today. I did badly today, and I angered my coach. I may have even angered my teammates. I'm sorry. Not only that. My coach even told us some things and it really feared me. I don't want to lose. I don't want to lose my pride. I don't want to regret. I don't to go through the same things I've gone through maybe, every year.

 I don't want to be a loser. 

I hate losing out. Nobody does either. So competitive huh, stupid complicated world. :X

When can I wake up? When can I be able to lead well? When can We win? 

I don't want to let my coach down. I don't want her to feel sad/angry. 

Just now, while eating the bread that coach had gave us, the seniors asked if we feel fed up or what when coach scolded us during the match. We said "No", and they asked "Why? Do you all feel better/"forgive" her after eating these breads?" , we said "Yes".

Actually, after eating the foods she've made for us, I really felt that it's all worth it. Be it being scolded in court or screamed at by her for the mistakes I've done. Cause, well, every time I eat her food, I started thinking about the things she have done for us. How selfless.... 

Enough said, We know how good she is. And people out there who don't really get into contact with her and starts to blabber nonsense bout her..... well, keep quiet. Really. 

Nobody asked for your comments. Who are you to judge? 

Seriously.......

I regret my actions only after I've done them. I should think before I start doing or saying anything. I must learn to! LOL 

Hmmmm, and one thing.

Spoiler: 

Last but not least, (bitchy mode: ON) I really can't stand this one person who's currently getting on my nerves already. I've tried controlling my anger just so I wouldn't start "teaching" you a lesson eh. Seriously, STOP CRITICISING AS THOUGH YOU ARE F*CKING PERFECT. GO CLEAN/SCRUB THAT BLOODY MOUTH OF YOURS. GO RINSE IT WITH WHATEVER MOUTHWASH YOU'VE GOT THERE. GOGOGOGOGOGO!!! 

OMG, every single time you criticise me, you really send adrenaline through my hands, whoa, I tell you ah, if my mind wasn't that great at controlling my body, my palms and fists would have reach that freakin' "kum pa" face okay. Not only me, every time you come and tell me and criticise bout other people, I feel damn disgusted. Ohmytian, you gross little thing. (SORRY)

" Prease la, prease ah, prease, prease, don't criticise too much okay. I WONG YOU."

okay la, I'm done bitching. 

& sorry for ranting like a crazy keyboard warrior at the end. :/ TSK. Spoiled my Number 7th post, but oh well, I feel that I really have to rant today , so yaaaaaaa~ 

So, goodnight! 

P/S I HOPE FOR THE BETTER. I HOPE FOR A POSITIVE CHANGE IN ME.